Ask me to dance.
A few years ago I was in a relationship with a professional dancer / dance instructor. He was younger than me, he was from a different country and at that point in time we knew each other from the dancefloor for about three years.
We used attend a number of salsa parties together and because of who he was, many wanted to dance with him. I never asked him to dance with me (while dating). Until one day …
He stopped mid-something and asked me why I never ask him to dance …
I smiled and said: “When you ask me, I know you choose me and you want (to dance with) me.”
He heard what I said. He would make the intentional effort to ask me to dance often, at any event.
I had to say it.
And not until he asked me had I realised how very important it was to me to know through such a miniscule detail in my relationship that I am chosen. And whether I was the best dancer or not, I wanted to be asked and he asked.
Chosen. Confirmation. Connection.
Someone asked me yesterday how my day was and I remembered the story above.
It reminded me that I must never forget to communicate the seemingly little things that would fuel the connection and build the relationship and do the same for the person I’m with.
To choose and be chosen everyday.
To check in and ask how the day was. To answer that question honestly.
Ask me how my day was.
Love your person.
Choose them daily.
Do the things that make their eyes light up.
Let them do the same for you.
I hope they do.