Since my brother mentioned intentionality years ago it’s been a growing thought throughout my thoughts, actions, words and relationships.
What is my intention when and how I say or do something? What is my intention in a relationship? Why am I in this relationship / friendship? Am I there for a specific goal? And I there to accomplish something or will this lead me to where I want to be? So am I really here to be a friend or not?
Friendships are important to me, because my friends are the family I choose and they choose me back. FRamily. And looking at it like this means that my very wide circle of friends starting in my 20’s has severely decreased over the past 20 years. Much more peace.
I want my friends to know that I choose them as my framily. Every morning when I wake up, I choose you. And the only way that you know you are my friend is if / when you choose me too. Our choices are aligned. And we know it. We show it. There’s safety and peace in it. No hesitation that we gots each other, we call each other out, we protect each other, we speak about our challenges, our worries, our successes. We encourage each other and we check in on each other … regularly.
Friend, my intention for you is to thrive, excel, be healthy, live, enjoy life, experience the best that’s out there for you and knowing that this is your intention for me too.
Are you my friend? Am I your friend?
The one thing that I really value is when a friend can discuss something with me in my behaviour that is disconcerting to them. Honestly. It’s not an easy conversation. It’s one of those crucial ones. One of those that hit you in the feels. One of those checking if it’s the right te kinda ones … I’ve been told that it’s not easy to have that kind of conversation with me. Let’s work on it.
If I’ve every tried to have a conversation like that with you, this is my intention. It’s not to tear you apart or give you answers, it’s because I want both of us to understand what we are going through and how we can choose and build our friendship by adjusting it slightly or lots to make the challenge for either one of us.
Appreciate intentional friendships. The knowing that someone cares for you enough to choose you every day and act as an ambassador for you wherever they go, people you can trust to stop the gossip but also call you out when such things surface and then walk through it with you.
My circle of friends has become really small over the past few years. I know who my framily is. They gots me. I choose them and they choose me. And even if they don’t check in, I know if I pick up the phone to call, they will pick up and we will talk, they will stop to talk. Trust. Safety. Peace.
Sometimes I call just to hear a voice.
Tell your friends you miss them.
Tell your friends you love them.
Tell your friends you choose them.
Know that I chose you, even if in some cases you chose me first.
Know that I appreciate you.
Know that I love you.
Thank you, my tribe.