Day 17: 44 to 44 at 4:44

This week: Death and Life.

I’ve had an interesting week. You?

I started homeschooling one of my godchildren. A friend in quarantine. A friend’s nephew in hospital. A friend’s father died. I was almost in an accident and some heavy shock vibes thereafter.

Loads of thoughts. Life. How short life is. How, even though the Covid 19 pandemic is at the forefront of all news, life can stop at any time … different paths, different ways. This week has been that reminder.

Death. There’s always death. A human being is always dying somewhere in the world. It could be me too. Sickness, accidents, intentionality …

Governments digging mass graves in preparation for mass deaths caused by a pandemic … people not being able to say good bye to loved ones.

Are we prepared for the psychological effect of this? For ourselves? For the people we work with? For the learners, students, aged …

I don’t think lockdown has been used optimally. Education on what to do when lockdown is lifted should have been a huge part of the original lockdown. Preparation for the new norm. There would’ve been some kind of process in place? Now we have to think about that for everybody else while more and more people become infected and …

I can only do what I can do. Amidst all the things I think of and about and see. I can still only control me. I can keep me masked, sanitized and safe as far as possible. And do that also to protect others.

That’s it.

And that’s all.

No overthinking. No pressure. No drama.

Live life. Even amidst all the anxiety, live. There’s a lot of dying going on.


7 thoughts on “Day 17: 44 to 44 at 4:44

  1. I couldn’t greet or bury my mother. That was in 2016. I quickly learned to find closure, otherwise, I would have gone insane. Sometimes, a clear head, a firm resolve and looking forward are our only real options. Those who know me well enough will tell you it’s true, I been around the block often enough to know. We are stronger than this and others had it much worse, sometimes for seven decades. We want to cry after seven easy weeks, what is wrong with this generation? Did we grow up too eaily?


    1. Thanks for sharing, Pete. I’m sorry about your Mom. I think we should allow each their own responses and time to mourn. The crying after 7 weeks however has me thinking that people are so used to easy fixes …


      1. I have lived a life with enough sudden losses that had taught me the hard way that I couldn’t stop to cry, the death of my mother was a bad blow but worse, much worse, happened several times. In war, mourning is optional.


      2. This epidemic, to me, is economic warfare. But I have been talking about real life, not just an epidemic. Some of us live less comfy, less easy and more compromised than others, in fulfilling our purpose and calling. This whole scream worldwide about lockdown is infantile. People need to bite the bullet, practise their much faith and take it in their stride. This is a picnic compared to what others had been used to for decades.


      3. I agree with you. The culture of not transferring experiences via storytelling but rather using history as a punishment story doesn’t allow for much knowledge about the past and suffering therein. Infantile – some people will scream because much of what is known to the screamers are instant gratification and entitlement – I’m more in the each on teach one by having the conversation. That works for me. It’s been ongoing. I listen. We converse. Whether understanding and comprehension happens is the other person’s responsibility. I will also not generalise because I know a whole lot of people who are not screaming and are biting the bullet, practicing their faith and take things in their stride.

        Thank you for this.


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