Day 18: 44 to 44 at 4:44


A few months ago, late January or early February, I dreamt one night that I need to get up the next day and buy something yellow. At that point in time an advertisement kept popping up online showing me a long yellow dress sold by one of the local clothing retailers. I’d been considering buying the dress, but then thought, nah, I don’t need another dress.

The dream has some level of urgency though. I don’t know why. I woke up with some fierce determination to buy some yellow clothing item that day. I was hoping for the dress, but somewhere at the back of my mind I couldn’t see myself in that specific dress.

The entire day, going through everything that I needed to get through, the only word in my head … YELLOW!

The colour also reminded me of a friend I met in Port Elizabeth when I lived there. She was part of my grow group. No matter what she went through, her being was sunshine yellow! Beaming with faith, love and gratitude! (If you know her, you’ll immediately know who I’m talking about.) She greets everybody and introduces herself to everybody with so much joy and radiant love! Sunshine breaking through after a cold winter … warmth flowing over you when you step into the sunshine after being cooped up in an air-conditioned office. The type of sunshine we associate with love – warmth, care, joy overflowing. She is sunlight and she also laughs sunlight.

I walked into the shop and didn’t find any yellow dresses! My levels of disappointment! But then I saw yellow … sunlight yellow and sunflower yellow. Two summer tops. Sunlight yellow with white flowers and sunflower yellow with white dots. I didn’t even go to the fitting room, I just knew they would fit – of course I measured them with my eyes. They both fit. Promise.

Wearing sunshine or sunflower yellow and having the colour in my periphery kinda makes me smile … more. Makes me feel good. Interesting.

I still have no idea what drove me to dream yellow and then buy yellow. What I do know is that I’m now looking for that yellow dress – not the one I saw in the advertisement. I’m not sure what it would look like but I will know it when I see it.

Just thinking about it makes me smile.

What colour makes you feel good?
What fragrance fills you with joy?
What textures makes your heart happy?

Soft fluffy fleece things or white cotton linen.

Playing with children and little arms around my neck also gives me yellow feelings. A love gathering with friends where we just chill and enjoy each others company. Sweet peas, white St Joseph’s lilies. Forests after rain. Well … the air after rain. Rain. The sea. Dancing in the summer rain. Knowing that someone loves me and chooses me. Laughing. Hearing amusing stories from my parents’ past – having them tell it themselves especially. Seeing my heart people enjoy themselves – really enjoy themselves. Seeing friends I haven’t seen in a long time. Making new friends. Meeting someone whose conversation I enjoy. Good conversation. Beautiful nature views. Love. Honour. Respect.








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