The 4:44PM: The Leveller

Death and more death. Some from Covid 19 and some not.

More people in my life (close and peripheral) has died from pre-existing conditions or other illnesses / happenings than of Covid 19. Perspective.

Life is precious. Do I see it that way? Do I appreciate it that way? Do I forget it’s preciousness? Do I think about it intentionally? Does my life show my gratitude for the miracle of life? Can you see it / feel it when you speak / interact with me?

Apply brakes.
No pressure.

I’ve been way too busy. Oversubscribed. Overthinking. Overextending myself. Not checking in with myself.

Stop. (Collaborate and listen … lol)

But seriously. Stop. I forgot to keep myself in check. And when I don’t do that I fall into the trap of … hmm … I don’t know … pleasing people, working on people’s nerves, hmm … sigh … or do I?

One of the hardest parts of death in the time of this pandemic is that loved ones cannot be with the dying. The heartache of losing loved ones and not being able to say good bye or comfort them. The repercussions … long term … the sadness, the heartbreak.

I don’t think I’ve thought about that. Why not, I wonder.

Somehow it seems that I’ve been operating on a superficial level of life amidst what is going on. I’m rushing through stuff and not thinking about it. Result = tired tired tired.

This week. Death and more death. The leveller. Reminders of life, how short it actually is and questions … what am I doing with mine? Where did time go? Have I used the time that I’ve had to live and let live? To bless and be blessed?

Look up.

There’s so much beauty around us. And also ugliness.
There’s so many people around us. Are we connecting or not?

Do they know how much I loved and appreciated them?
Did I say it / show it enough?
I hope so.

No matter who / what you are. No matter how high / low (perceived).


Appreciate each other. Forgive. Show love. Express how you feel. Have the emotional conversation. Be with your people. Love. Live. Laugh. Connect. Engage. Reach out. Tell me.

Look up. Look around. Look after yourself.

Death Valley – Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

2 thoughts on “The 4:44PM: The Leveller

  1. Here I am, a survivor of a dozen strokes, and I know how close death is, a hairwidth away. After my NDE in 1995, which coincided with the very first ischemic heart attack and stroke, taught me a number of things, also that OSAS is a lie. Maybe I came back to tell folks just that.

    Today, after yet another very awake night, I decided to sleep today. Many tens of millions died of diabetes-related issues last year, yet I saw no army on the streets.

    I hope I can see my 89yo Dad again, emailed a letter to his old age home on the 28th, another today on the 30th. They print it out and take it to the little room from where Death will collect him one day. I last saw him on Dec 13, 2017.

    I mourn with you, the loss of every human life. I mourn for toddlers killed by gangsters, I mourn the aborted, people killed on farms or by the roadside, and those whose time had just ran out. As we all will die.

    So we need to leave the important things and just start living.


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