2020: 57

05 November

It’s a super quiet Guy Fawkes Day. Grateful. Yay for al the pets!!! Double yay!!!

I’ve been looking around today. I saw some flowers and bees, avocados falling from trees, birds flying by and raindrops falling from the sky. The early day had some thunder that I didn’t hear at all. I slept well with a little help. A deep, dreamless sleep.

The journey to find the ideal and necessary position becomes harder every day. Not only because of the pandemic, but also because it’s been a while. Quite a while. The positions I’ve applied for, the interviews I’ve been invited to, the conversations I’ve had … exercises towards a goal, I think, I hope …

Be anxious about nothing. Worry for what? Even when it feels desperate? Even when … yeah … even then. What would the anxiety bring that’s good? Am I anxious? It doesn’t feel that way. I do feel worried. It’s been a while. Priority. I could have done better. But how? When? What happened in the mean time?

Motivation? Inspiration? What inspires me? What motivates me? What fires me up? Where do I want to be? Where do I see myself? Where am I at ease and challenged at the same time? Where do I make a difference and flourish at the same time? Places where I can help improve things with little tweaks, conversations, implementations, … helping people understand that they are worth it, worth more, worth better … that they are worthy.

I love the colour of this bougainvillea. Fuchsia. The splendor of its bloom. I look at it with wonder. And I wonder about the detail of creation. The detail. My detail.

Life is beautiful. Love lives here. Laugh heartily.

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