2020: 41

21 November

41 = Prime.

A year ago this evening I went to see the Joe Barber Anniversary show. With someone I felt a whole lot of compassion for ta that point in time. The show was lekke. The story that I heard that evening was heart-wrenching. The company was enjoyed. The atmosphere was careful. It should’ve stayed careful. Straight after the show I was to leave for East London – driving … for a wedding! Ah, my heart for the couple!

Today though, two other people got married. The bride is close to my heart. I hope everything went well. I wish them a blessed life together and a covenant filled with His presence. My heart is full!

And for the rest of it, today was a time out. Sleeping in, driving nowhere, kinda playing with the kids, watching random things on tv …

Rest is necessary. Rest should be mandatory. Rest is required. Do we rest enough? Even me … my friends will say no. So today will make them happy. Hehehe! It helps with clarity and perspective. A day for thinking about nothing. Tomorrow has its own things.
But, today was about … rest.
Sabbath.

On some level I have rested since 2018 until now. On other levels also not. It’s been three years of no secure income, helping where I can, supporting where I can, encouraging where I can. Walking through fire for myself, because some things needed to be burnt off. Learning to rest, trust, believe and to say no and mean it. Walking away when I have to, even if my heart breaks. Withdrawing from people and places where I don’t feel safe and at peace. Saying no because I know I do not have capacity and I have to protect my peace, uphold my boundaries and take care of my whole being. Giving and loving intentionally and hard. Having hard conversations because I love me and them.

Tigers also rest.
A cup of black tea with a mint leaf is refreshing.
Watching random shows like The Mandalorian, Wu Assassins and Star Trek is revitalising … for me.

Today was lovely.