13 x 3 = 39
I miss you. I was considering checking in. I decided not to. Because sometimes you have to close the door and / or burn the bridge. It makes me sad. I didn’t get the chance to know you as the friend I wanted to. So much we could have still talked about. Hope and pray you are doing well amidst your busyness and that happiness slowly creeps into all the places and spaces that has been filled with sadness and disappointment.
I miss you today. You were taken away soon. Just to hear you say: “Everything’s gonna be okay.” Such a comforting thought. Sweat. Coffee. Cheesecake. Eyes. Laughs. Champagne. The call out.
I miss you today. I hope to meet you someday soon. We have many things to share. Much to talk about. Adventures waving at us. Speaking life, encouraging, loving.
Today is a quiet day. The most I’ve spoken today was on the online Alpha course. It was good. The session was about speaking to people about faith and how important your story is.
Your story is important.
Your life is important.
You are important.
It’s been a good day. Unexpected conversations triggered unexpected thoughts.
One was about parents. What do we know about our parents? Our grandparents? We only know then from when we begin to have a realisation and understanding of people. We see them we hear them and after a while we understand what they are saying and then we start speaking to them and we learn about them every time we are with them. We don’t know who our parents were before us. The same with our grandparents and all the other grownups in our lives. The same way that the children in our lives don’t know who we were before they got to know us. Have you thought about this? Have we thought about the fact that we have a perception and we look through our filters and from within our framework and with our expectations? Have we thought about forgiveness for what we think is wrong? Have we thought about the fact that it might not have been wrong from their point of view? Have we thought about the fact that some people only come into themselves at a very late stage in their lives because nobody has ever told them that they are more than they thought they were and that their potential as magnificent bright shining human beings was only unlocked much later because they didn’t know love, joy, happiness, grace, … a myriad of things. Much more thinking to be done about this. What’s your thoughts on this?
Then I saw this picture on the left. And I thought about vulnerability. My vulnerability. My friends’ vulnerability. Who am I inviting into MY REAL? Who invites me into THEIR REAL? (an honour and a privilege)
I don’t have many who I allow in there. I feel comfortable with the knowledge that I know my tribe. But … I need to do better. Communicate better. Invite more obviously.
A few years ago someone said to me that I am not vulnerable. At that point in time I became defensive … I was not vulnerable enough. In reflection, I was not going to be vulnerable with that particular person because I did not feel safe with that person for some reason. I still don’t. I do know in which situations and environments I do feel safe with that person though … where we have commonalities and that’s where I will be vulnerable within the context. Knowing is important.
I would have loved to be surrounded by sunflowers or walk through a field of these beautiful flowers. They bring me such joy. I feel elated when I receive them, have them, see them. The make my heart smile and that just automatically pour over into my face and ooze from my pours …
I feel like I glow happy yellow when I see these beauties!
I hope I do!
These flowers feel like love to me. They represent what love feels like to me. Warm and glowy, bold, strong, continually turning towards the sun or energy to continue blooming. Absolutely how I think about relationships. I cannot and don’t want to do life alone. Friendship, family and partner relationships will know that WE are in a relationship and we support, encourage and gots each other. Balance. And we turn to each other to bloom. I feel like I’m explaining this badly. I’ll try again another day.
I LOVE SUNFLOWERS!
Life is beautiful!
Be blessed and be a blessing!