2020: 32

30 November

16 x 2 = 32 = 4 x 8

The lastest day of November 2020. The 31 days of December starting tomorrow. Have I really thought about it? I am praying for big things to change in the next few days. Before Christmas. So 2021 starts on a new note. Impactful.


So what’s the plan for December 2020?

Today I was thinking about something that I usually do when my friends tell me about difficult or challenging situations in their lives … I ask questions: How do you feel about it? How are you handling it? Why are you expecting so much of yourself? Don’t you think the fact that you are aware is a good thing and giving you an opportunity to respond / do / think about it better / closer to who / what you want to be?
But now …
Should I be asking those questions?
Will someone ask me those questions?
How would I answer those questions?
Are those the questions I should be asking?
Am I over-invested in my friendships? (there’s a reason for this question)
Should I by now just leave them alone and just tell me what they want to and ask no questions?
Am I wrong in asking the questions I’m asking?

Do I want my friends to ask me the same questions?
Is that the kind of interest I want in me when I share a problem?
Do I want challenging questions posed to me about my thoughts and decisions?

I miss full moon picnics. I miss lying on a blanket and watching the moon and the stars. I miss being there early to see the sun set. Gathering with friends. Talking, laughing, sharing, eating … contemplating. I miss the people checking in with me and not checking in with me when the moon is full. And the laughs I have about it. I miss the friend who hasn’t seen me in years and after speaking for 15 seconds asking me why I sound like that? I miss the hugs and the laughs and the awkwardities and the vibes and the melodrama and the misunderstandings and the deep discussions and the lame jokes, frivolities and the excellent stories and just moments shared and memories made.

And the sun comes up tomorrow.
A new chance.
Another try.

Sometimes new days feel UGH. Other days it feels amazing … surrounded with love … filled with joy … oozing with all the loveliness to be shared and spread and sunshine and sunflowers and beautiful fragrances everywhere!!!

When the some comes up tomorrow it will be December 2020. The year that has challenged every single person in proximity of the Covid 19 virus, whether they know it or not, whether they think it or not. Interesting that there are people who think that they are not affected by the virus and that the virus cannot infect them. The nonchalance of many people are challenging. The only things that has to be done is the wearing of a mask (properly, covering nose and mouth), the washing of hands (for 20+seconds) and maintaining social distance EVERYWHERE (unless we live together)!!! Please. Big please. Big, pretty please. Let’s be prudent.

I hope you are well.
I hope you are surrounded with love.
I hope you get to be with family this Christmas holiday season.

Be blessed and be a blessing. Take care of you and your loved ones. Be responsible and accountable.

You are chosen. You are loved. You are beautiful.

Integrity. Intentionality. Accountability.

The things that come up in my thoughts.

And now … sleep.

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