2020: 3

29 December

Isolation … nothing happened. I have been chatting to friends and watching Sherlock Holmes on Netflix and I slept late (some of my friends are shouting with joy for this little piece of news!).

Been keeping myself busy with some mindless entertainment while somewhere in my mind I am wondering what I will do if symptoms present themselves. How will I handle it. How will the household need to change. I have been thinking of a different place to isolate if I had had to have contracted the virus. How will it impact everybody here? Is there a place I can go to to quarantine alone without affecting my nearest?

The thinking my brain goes through because I try my best at all times not to inconvenience other people. To not fire up the fear and anxiety they are already walking around with and feeding. I decided to stop. I have to look after myself and keep me in my quarters and keep the things around me and the things I touch, clean. If any symptoms appear, I will have to get tested and then decisions will be made.

The tendency to think of other people … hm … put others before myself … almost an automatic response or rather a learnt habit. A good one? What do you think?

Another thing that came up today is the mixed messages thing. Well, it came up yesterday too. No more mixed messages. If I don’t understand what you mean, I’m going to ask. Vice versa, please. Clarity and solid understanding is what I would like to take with me into 2021. Honesty. Integrity. Transparency. Love. Courage. Heart. Please. If I like you, I like you. If I disagree with you, it will be expressed. No passive aggressive rubbish. Just a short one-liner to express the thought. Sometimes not even explanations, coz the explanation might not be ready. Express your heart, that’s important.

2021 will be about looking up more, looking around more, expressing gratitude and compliments more, making more time for honest connection and interaction, loving more and harder, encouraging more, making more music and dancing more …

It’s been too long. Too much time wasted. Life is short. Make life beautiful. Look for opportunities. Do your best. Seize the day.

Image by Peggy Choucair from Pixabay

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