45/2021/26: Weird vibes

This morning I woke up with a mission. Clean the kitchen, make breakfast for parentals, cook for dinner and meet a friend for coffee at 12. Sometime during the morning my tomorrow check in was moved to today for after 2pm. Great! Full day! Weird vibes … I feel off-ish. Someone in the back of my mind. A conversation or two that still needs to happen. Things that need to get done in the following weeks … my brain is everywhere.

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Image by Susana Wildner Fox from Pixabay

12pm conversation was interesting as always. Challenging on levels. I learn so much. There’s exchange, patience, respect, conversation, questions, wonderings, worries … thoughtfulness, hopes, dreams, challenges, beauty, hardship, difficulty … in a quiet conversation that is sometimes sprinkled with new things, new experiences, learning moments … grateful.

3pm (eventually) that was supposed to be tomorrow. A friend I don’t see a lot. A friend who sent me a voicenote in January to let me know she was 17 weeks pregnant at the age of 44. A friend. We talked about the journey and expectations and the madness of the process. About fertility clinics that look like production lines. Catching up about all kinds of stuff and life and happenings and the plans for the future and the baby’s arrival and questions and answers and lessons and wisdom and … friends. Grateful.

Someone dreamt about me … it wasn’t a nice dream … detailed, dramatic … life.

I wonder again … about my child … breathe in deeply … sigh … love.

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