45/2021/38: Just go with it

I slept in today. Chilled morning. It’s quite interesting. It feels like I very rarely do that. I felt more tired when I woke up and got up. Like I slept too much. I didn’t. I went to bed before midnight, but went to sleep after 3. Don’t ask. One of those things. Brain not switching off. Why not? I don’t know. But also, maybe I do. Too much on my mind. Things needing closure. I’m not seeing the opportunity for the closure. Some closures require hard conversations. Well, the conversation might not be hard because it has been thought through and only the necessary comes out … the process behind it is usually hard, challenging, excruciating.

Let it be
Image by John Hain from Pixabay

Today I kinda just went with it. Sometimes it’s the better option to just go with it. And at some point in time I found myself in front of the tv with my nephew and niece watching whatever it was that my nephew likes to watch that I don’t particularly find interesting, but I find interesting to watch through his eyes and mind and conversation. Kids fascinate me. The things they like, converse about, what is important to them, how they grow and develop and how they interact with people they know and trust and how they make up for the weaknesses and ‘awkwardities’ of the adults they know well. How the things we do influence them and their world and their development. My niece made a list yesterday of how she would describe each of the adults that is in her life on a daily basis. Eye opening. She also loves making jokes and lame jokes and truth jokes … so, be careful … she’s 8 and she’s fire!!!

It’s Father’s Day tomorrow. I have loads of thoughts. The first of which is breakfast for my Dad and then cooking lunch and baking pudding … coz he likes an old school Sunday lunch and he hasn’t had the kind of lunch he likes in a while. So yes, that’s gonna be the vibe. Grateful to have my Dad and Mom healthy and with us.
Also thinking that it would be lovely to be cooking for … a special someone …
It’s one of those days and it’s June. It comes with things. It comes with thoughts. It comes with feelings and things that go in all directions.

I also have to finish some knitting and start some other knitting and knit more. Amongst other things.

My brain has been very busy today even though my body wasn’t doing much and my engagements was not intentional. The brain continues to amaze me.

Today I kinda just let it go and let it be … let the day take me where it wanted me to go. It’s not a good thing to do every day but once in a while it’s lovely and somewhat frustrating. But some days I just want to be led and not make all the decisions and balancing and … yeah … some days I just want to be swept off my feet, swept away and surrounded by love and care and things that make me feel wanted and whole and overflowing and cared for and comfortable and safe.

I don’t feel like I maximised the potential of this day. I feel like that about many of my days over the past 4 years. Most of the time I didn’t have the energy for it … didn’t look up, couldn’t look up. Momentarily I looked. Mostly with help, be it by another human or spiritual. Life.

Life is beautiful.
It is.
Every day has life in it.
And it’s amazing.
Wonderful and full of wonder.
Miracles everywhere.
Occasionally … just go with it.

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