I very rarely get or feel really sick or unwell. And I haven’t had a sick day in a long time. I generally work through the odd not so ‘lekke’ feeling days. But today I wake up and I feel … well, not well. But I have to get up because I need to run an errand. 45 minutes later I was back in bed. My mother is worried coz I’m not that person. I sleep for 3 hours. Get up, feel better, get dressed and take the day easy. Not feeling 100% but better during the day.
Sinus. Once or twice a year I have such a day and if I don’t care of it, it takes care of me by knocking my legs out from under me and keeping me in bed for a week. So … let me listen now and do what needs to be done.
If I was living alone I would probably not have gotten up. Why did I? Mcxm. I don’t like being sick: I have also realised that being sick is the only thing that gets me to stay in bed and really rest. And now I’m thinking about it. I really need to plan these kinds of days. It’s hard when you live with your parents … because stay in bed chill days is not part of their … well … routine?
And while I’m thinking about this I wonder if I will actually do this?
I miss being in an environment where my mind is challenged. Where I hear things I don’t know or understand and then learn about it and ask questions about it. Yes, I can read about such things … but it’s so much more fascinating when the words float by your ears and you breathe them in (with masks on these days, please). That’s why I like working with people, surrounded by people, moving in spaces where people talk about various topics. I pick up words and concepts and knowledge and information … I can ask questions and learn more … especially when it’s things I never think about or are exposed to. Life. What’s most intriguing to me is the way people speak about the things they speak about … I catch myself not listening to myself speak … I should ‘thinklisten’ how words roll over my lips … reflection.
The biggest upside of today’s extra sleep … my brain was quiet for longer. No small cogs turning inside bigger cogs with unspoken thoughts and ideas and memories that I dare not speak. That’s where my mind wonders. Gears need to shift. It is in motion … occasionally. Movement forwards needs to become part of the routine again. I’ve learnt a lot over the past 4 years … about me. Things I wanted to know, things I didn’t want to know (but need to), things I want to forget, things I want to hold on to forever.
Love lives here.