Today. On this day. While I’m feeling a little squashed. 2 students from 2 different institutions I worked at told me I was part of making their experiences great. One was a local student who got the opportunity to go to a summer school in The Netherlands and the other a student from the United States of America who came to Cape Town for a quarter.
I forget the work that I have done. I don’t know the impact made. It was a reminder for me once again that we have to let people know what they mean to us. So that they know, when we go or they go, the impact the made. Expressing gratitude. Giving hugs. Sharing moments, laughter and love. Camaraderie. The connections. Many times we form connections that we take for granted. We don’t say. We let it. And then it’s not there.
I sometimes try to hard to hold on to some people. People who make me feel good just because they’re there. Instead of just saying what I think and feel and thank you … I try to hold on. Too much. Break.
There’s a few people I need to contact. Now. If not now, when?
The 2 ex-students, now professionals (law and medicine), lit small candles that was killed by the whoosh of loss during the pandemic … and the unemployment of the past few years … 2 small candles. It’s a start.
I loved working with the undergrad students. So full of fire and passion. I cannot recall being that passionate at their age. What did I miss? Can I still use the excuse of being a late bloomer then? When did I miss it? I miss working with undergrads … their ideas and conversations and debates … about life, love, studies …
I miss me.
The me I was supposed to be.
I don’t even know where to look for her.
Sometimes I see a glimpse of her here and there.
Now and then.