how excited was i for my way overdue appointment with my obgyn. excited why? coz i was eveready! mammogram done! ready for the long talk because i haven’t been there in a while (we have a special relationship because I had to go visit for tests lots about a decade or so ago???) i was ready.
and then?
his people call my people today to tell me we have to move it to January 2022. yhooo … disappointed! i also really just wanted to get it done. and i have a few questions. 45 you know? what lies ahead?
anyway. i was looking forward to seeing him. with my own gown and my own towel. coz covid. now i have to hype myself up for January. all the thoughts and questions and concerns from years ago. the wait for results. hoping that i don’t have to go through what i went through before. hoping for just normal. one place and space where i just want to average it out.
the clock is ticking. it’s also probably too late.

i like my obgyn. he’s a nice guy. he’s great at what he does … with illustrations and in depth explanations and he got jokes. it makes it easier.
grateful.
sigh.
the wait.