What is going on?

It’s been a while…

Let me rather look at the flowers and it’s beauty and messages.

There’s been a whole lot of email word violence in the ‘where-my-salary-comes-from’-aspect of my life over the past 2 weeks. It’s draining. I’m disappointed. Upper seats who don’t understand that context is important and that a good idea deserves acknowledgement and a shut down communicates thoughts and feelings about value, cohesion, collegiality, inclusivity, safe spaces. Tired of micromanagement and lack of a management in general .. various spaces and places .. from some, not all. Tired of, if I did it you can also do it – type of people who understands not that people’s abilities are different … also, yes you did it but how? Did you build or break while doing it? Did you have to work late every night? That’s irresponsible. Not guarding you health and wellness and family time .. irresponsible. Not communicating boundaries and just saying yes .. irresponsible and disrespectful to yourself.
Being scared of your superiors … ai. Fear is an interesting motivator to some.

Connect, then lead https://hbr.org/2013/07/connect-then-lead

A good read.

It’s Friday. I feel better than Wednesday and Thursday.

Self-reflection is healthy.

Some people believe they are always right just because they do something to the best of their ability. What if the ability needs expansion? Why is nobody advising? If you want to ask, I’m not allowed. What do I know?

And yes, there’s loads that I get wrong. Loads. I’m not blind to where I’m lacking and what I do wrong, forget, neglect … on the contrary, accountable. No excuses. Do better, Mariska.

Also, if you know how much is done where I admistrate, you wil be astonished. Great work. Fantastic outputs. Phenomenal projects.

Collegiality. Community. Care.

Hm.

I don’t know. Let me self-reflect and introspect into the weekend. Maybe next week will feel better.

Or maybe … you know. Chapters. I’m grateful for lessons, blessings and scars we learn from.

Breathe. It was quite suffocating. Remember to breathe.

Oh, and long Covid … that’s something for the books. Can I just be how I was before? Remember and physically active and stuff. My tired being beyond tired is subsiding slowly … but yhooo … it is an unforgiving trouble maker.

Breathe.

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