The last day of the year. I am not sure if I looked forward to this day or if it has filled me with dread.The day has arrived and feel like I should be taking deep breaths. There is a discomfort where I am. A wall. A block. A lack of care it feels but … Continue reading 2025 | chapter 12, page 365 | gentle. intentional. consistent. →

peaceful. intentional. consistent. boring. focused. gentle. kind. i visited with two friends today. i will be seeing them again on 02 January 2026. it was delightful. i enjoyed it. it was important to be there. it was a commitment i made months ago, i stuck to it. i need to stick to my commitments to … Continue reading 2025 | chapter 12, page 364 | how should 2026 feel →

what did I avoid this year conflict. energy sappers. overcommitting. people who have not checked in with me but wanted to stake claim on my time, energy, presence. i did my best. i did not always succeed. i did my best. conflict should not be avoided though, but it sapped too much of the energy … Continue reading 2025 | chapter 12, page 363 | avoidance →

what / who surprised me this year i think my biggest surprise this year was the day after my diagnosis was delivered to me - i had a cortizone shot given by the rheumatologist and the next day I felt awake and healthy and my brain was so clear and fresh and I felt energised … Continue reading 2025 | chapter 12, page 362 | surprise →

me. i drain my own energy. the decisions i made. the things i allow. when i choose to be silent instead of talking. when i think i don't belong or it's not my place. i drain the life out of me. i have been aware for the longest time that i allow things to drain … Continue reading 2025 | chapter 12, page 361 | draining my energy →

What did i do in 2025 that I am genuinely proud of? I am very bad at this ... very bad at acknowledging the good that I have done ... for myself especially. I am proud of myself ... I have never learnt how to express this well as I was taught that it was … Continue reading 2025 | chapter 12, page 360 | proud →

family joined family on this day. we were 19 people all together. what a beautiful day and time had with family. stark differences in levels of joy was experienced and observed. the food was good. the gratitude was tangible. having people together who are related, not closely, who choose to celebrate Christmas together and maintain … Continue reading 2025 | chapter 12, page 359 | Christmas Day – family →

unstructured play brings so much joy. i haven't done any of it for the longest time. building puzzles, playing games, building legos, building sand castles. why do we think we should stop? how are we teaching people to keep their joy buckets filled? what do you do for unstructured play? dance feels like play to … Continue reading 2025 | chapter 12, page 358 | unstructured play →

this happens before i go to bed. important to lay in darkness and silence. you listen to yourself. hear what your body and mind want to complain about, be joyful about, feel the tired in your body, feel your body and its condition and how it breathes and where it needs to breathe more ... … Continue reading 2025 | chapter 12, page 357 | sensory fasting →

I plan to do nothing then I do something. this holiday i will definitely be more intentional about this. and i have gotten this right. intentionally doing nothing. so this will be continued. short times of intentional doing nothing. it's important. it has helped me lot with my thinking, reflecting, critical thinking. what does doing … Continue reading 2025 | Chapter 12, Page 356 | do nothing →