I feel most disconnected from myself when …
when i am tired. and there are things i have to do. or when i go somewhere and i have had a feeling that i should not be there or should not go … some premonition.
this would be the reason i choose rest. choosing days for me with no contact with other people. the rest day. the selfcare day. the setting myself up for the next week and reflecting on the past week day.
especially these days … the rest day and sometimes two is required. it doesn’t mean i do nothing, it just means that i move in peace in my space and occasionally a chilled time with one or two of my closest friends.
this weekend it has specifically come to light i am more tired than i think and have left things undone which should have been done a long time ago. so i rested and did some of the things. also, i was irritated because things were asked of me that was unplanned … irritation comes with being tired. i don’t like being or feeling irritated or annoyed it means I am not present and not giving the level of me I want to. breathe.
so rest is required. a time away from problems not mine. i have my own challenges that also do not get the time it requires. if well rested there is space and time and energy for all within capacity.
rest, reset, rethink, also, the things that cause the annoyance are usually small things that require physical energy and doing which was outside of my planning. boundaries.
the closer we get to the end of the year the more the tired stays and doesn’t go away with rest, sleep or such … i think i need to start going out more and do things I like. despite the tired. things that can fill my joy cup with friends. a few coming up. also … eat cherries!
23 November 2025
KarisMatiek 