17 November
15 x 3 = 45 = 5 x 9
45 is my next number … I am in my 45th orbit around the sun … to be completed in 7 months.
I love hugs. I still want one. I need one.
The one thing I look forward to, hope and pray for is THE hug … where I can exhale … Rest … Be…
Sometimes I think I’ve given up on finding it.
There’s been a number of hugs where I thought that that was what I felt, but I never exhaled or relaxed in them. Even when I knew they were some of the bestest quality hugs one gets.
The one I need now is an exhale one where you just fold into each other to drink from each other’s fountains of comfort, love, silence, encouragement, heartbeat, life, warmth and just … all of it.
I think I’ll know it when I experience it.
I think.
Somewhere someday someone will understand it.
Relax.
Breathe deeply.
Love lives here.
KarisMatiek 