Do you think you’ve changed over years? I have in many aspects. I have also remained the same in other aspects. I find this fascinating.
Do we make space for the changed us? Do we make space for friends who change? Do we grow with our friends or support, encourage and acknowledge their growth?
I informed someone earlier this week, via email, that my number has changed. Why via email? Coz she changed her number and just disappeared. It was a last line thrown. I had no inkling whether or not she still used the email address or even cared. She replied. I was quite surprised. Really. And then she explained that she left certain spaces and cut ties with people from those spaces. I used to be part of that community when I lived there. I read her email and responded and thought, well done. She sounds great! I’m really happy for her and super supportive. I have dealt with the vibes of being cut off a while ago. It was an interesting experience. It felt like rejection. I analysed the situation that was playing off in my mind and the conclusion was to choose peace. So her response was a surprise and the sentiment was appreciated. Glad she’s happy and doing well and with that all is well. We are still not in contact. She knows where to find me when she wants to.
All of this made me think really hard about people that has walked away from me and people I have walked away from. How did they respond? How did I respond? I know there are people that I fought for. I had to let them go. Because if someone wants to go, let them. Pointless to make them stay. They’re going to leave anyway. If not at once … it will be piece by piece … heart, mind, body …
Then there is the space for change when change happens to people in our lives who have been causing problems, creating unnecessary challenges, causing havoc for whatever reason … when they grow, or come to some realisation or change or work on changing and they grow and develop and move towards being a part of the community, group, team … do we allow space for that to happen? Do we encourage it? Do we walk that road with the person?
When there’s something that I want to change about myself and I decide on a plan … who walks with me? Who supports me? Who holds me accountable? Who is my tribe? Do I have people in my life that will walk the process with me? And hold me accountable? And ask the hard questions?
We expect it from our closest friendlings, don’t we?
The question remains … do we keep the space that we expect for others too? Especially people closest to us … it’s harder. Especially when it’s a big thing. A big change. A big decision. A big disappointment. A big challenge. Hardship.
Do we have a time cap on it? Do we become tired after a while? Do we hold ourselves or the person to old standards and disregard the effort to grow and develop?
Let the thoughts continue …
Have a delightful weekend!